I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Randomize
