if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
