I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
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