you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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