was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
