they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
