i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
