Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
