I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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