I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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