ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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