i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Randomize
