Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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