I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
