How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
You have to summon your inner elephant
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Randomize
