I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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