Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Randomize
