She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize