he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
