I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
