Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Randomize
