I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
they need to just BURY HIM!
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
