ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
