did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
