In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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