I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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