hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
