Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
