the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
