how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
