it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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