you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
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