Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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