carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
ttyl tear gas
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Randomize
