why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
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