My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
