Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Randomize
