dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
