I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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