I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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