I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
