Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
