I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
