I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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