she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
