So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I feel great
I just peed on a car
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
