Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
