now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
