Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
If I die, sorry about rent.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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