I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Never underestimate the power of titties
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
