Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize