Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
