I can tuck mytits in my pants
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
