But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Do vagina's smell?
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
