He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Randomize