I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
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