So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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