Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
